Wise Advice for Military Widows

Military Widow: A Survival Guide was written for you: the military wife who became a widow. You didn’t volunteer for widowhood. No wife ever does. But life’s tragedies rarely ask for permission.

You’re not alone in this journey, even though it may feel that way at times. Other military widows feel the same way, too. Have hope though, for you can and will survive, and learn to live happily again.

Military Widow: A Survival Guide can help you if:

• Your husband died in the military
• You’re too young to be a widow
• Your world has become a living hell
• You feel like you’re going crazy
• You don’t know where you fit in

About Survival

In those first scary and tumultuous days, weeks, and months, it’s all about surviving on a day-to-day basis. You may not even know what you’re feeling, much less understand it. Widowhood doesn’t come with directions, and so to help you, read this chapter in Military Widow: A Survival Guide:

• Chapter 8: Common grief responses to losing your husband

  Here you can validate the whirlwind of emotions, thoughts, physical aches, and memory lapses that you’re experiencing. You’ll learn that you’re not going crazy, but this craziness is a part of the grief of losing your husband.

Your husband’s unit has just returned from deployment and suddenly, you feel like you did when you were notified. You don’t know why you’re feeling this bad now, but all the progress you’ve made seemed to vanish when the unit returned. To understand why, read this chapter:

• Chapter 12: Deployment delayed grief

  You’ll learn how your husband’s deployment affects you, even after his death. Who knew?

About Coping

The Casualty Officer is finished, the relatives have gone back home, and you don’t fit in with your old friends anymore. What do you do now? How do you get through the days and months ahead? Find out what you have to do to feel better by reading:

• Chapter 9: Grief work

  This is your time to mourn the loss of your husband, for healing begins by doing grief work. Learn how to work through your husband’s death, how to feel better and live again.

  Grief work isn’t easy, but neither is being a military widow. Measure your progress in small steps rather than giant leaps. Be patient with yourself!

• Chapter 16: Dumb things people say

  Every widow has heard a dumb comment or two, some of which are pretty insensitive. Believe it or not, people aren’t trying to hurt you. In fact, these folks are trying to make you feel better! Find out why some people put their ‘foot in their mouths,’ and check out the dumbest things said to military widows. Discover why people say the things they do. See how many of the dumb comments you’ve heard before, and what some widows would like to say in reply.

About Learning to Live Again

You’re trying to adjust to your ‘new-normal’ life, and not liking it very much. How do you cope with all of the changes? Read these chapters and find out:

• Chapter 22: What to do with your wedding bands

  Taking off your wedding rings is a huge step, one that’s emotion-filled and never easy. Find out how and when to take off your wedding band, and what it means when you do.

• Chapter 28: Dating again

  Dating after your husband’s death is different than dating when you were single or divorced. Get the dirt on the four scenarios of men and some lighthearted advice on dating again.