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Tips for Civilian Professionals

Military Widow: A Survival Guide was written for the military widow, but it was also written for you: the civilian professional who provides an important service or product to the family of a fallen warrior. You may be a service provider in a helping profession, such as a medical, dental or behavioral health provider, or a member of the clergy or a funeral director. Perhaps you provide financial services, insurance assistance, or legal advice to surviving family members.

As a civilian, there’s a good chance you’re venturing into unknown territory when working with a surviving military family, especially if you’ve never served in the military or been a military dependent. You’ve probably noticed the military is a profession unlike any other; it has a culture, a belief system, and a way of doing things all its own. To a civilian, it may seem like you’re a visitor in a foreign land. If you’ve experienced this feeling, relax, you’re in good company.

For health services providers and clergy:

As a health services provider or a clergy member, it’s important to understand the realities of a death in the military and the impact it has on a surviving military family member. A military death is burdened with complexities not often seen with a civilian death, and these complexities can greatly affect the survivors.

There’s a lot of good information in Military Widow: A Survival Guide that will help you grasp the unique issues of those in your care. Read the sections and chapters delineated here:

For financial, insurance and legal assistance providers:

In your area of expertise, you provide some critical and essential assistance to family members that can affect their future well-being. You understand the importance of the choices the family must make for their own best interests, both now and for the future. A surviving family though, may not share your sense of urgency, nor fully appreciate your level of detail, nor your thoroughness. It’s not because they’re disinterested. More likely than not, they’re simply overwhelmed by their loss, and may not be capable of grasping the depth of your analysis.

It’s essential for you to know how the ability to understand and retain information is compromised by a sudden, traumatic death, especially a military loss. Peruse these chapters in Military Widow: A Survival Guide, paying particular attention to Chapter 8 and Chapter 20.


With a professional, insider's perspective, Grief Solutions delivers hands-on training solutions on the best ways to respond to sudden loss and traumatic grief in the military. Learn More!