Military Widow: A Survival Guide, has been, by far, the most relevant book I’ve read as I reluctantly trudged through the journey of a newlywed military wife turned widow. I   tried to accomplish my “grief work” through reading other self-help books, only to find  they always left something missing. Nearly seven months after my husband’s death in Afghanistan, I picked up this book and read it in two sittings.  The entire time I was reading it, I felt as if Joanne Steen and Regina Asaro were answering the questions I was too scared to admit I had, or confirming those feelings that no other resource had adequately provided.  This book has brought me to an “aha” moment that I didn’t think would come, and has provided confirmation and validation of the feelings I’m experiencing.  It allowed me to feel less alone in my new place “in between” the military world and the civilian world.

Congratulations, Joanne and Regina, on a resource that is heartfelt, truthful, conscientious, knowledgeable and easy to read. Thank you so much for providing it to us.

T. W.   Newlywed and Army Pilot’s Widow

MILITARY WIDOW is the best emotional, financial and practical resource I have ever seen for those who lose a spouse in the military service. If, God forbid, you or someone you know suffers such a loss, this book will prove to be a life ring in a stormy sea.

Stephen Coonts, Best Selling Author

As a retired Navy Captain, and 2-time Casualty Assistance Calls Officer, I read this book in continual head-nodding agreement, and with extraordinary admiration for the authors. There is enough useful information in this slim volume that any Naval officer, any Navy leader, will be remiss if they do not, at least, skim the material. Being aware of this book will make life much easier if/when tragedy does strike.

The diction and grammar make for easy reading, but the content (the real, life stuff not covered in procedural manuals or instruction) requires reflection and study. This information is not available anywhere else; every wardroom, Chief’s Mess, and Chaplain need a copy, and it should be provided to every family enduring the loss of a sailor or Marine.

This book is a force-multiplier.

William H. Johnson (Capt, USN (Ret.)

My husband was killed in Iraq last year. I found this book to be an excellent grief resource. It helped me to understand military grief a little better and showed me that the emotions I’ve been feeling are natural. I recommend this book for any military spouse and have even shared the book with my sister-in-law because I felt parts of it could apply to parents and siblings also.

P.S.A., Army widow

This is, hands down, the most valuable resource for military widows and others who stand by as she walks down her new path of military widowhood. After my husband was killed, I searched desperately for some sort of road map, some touchstone to let me know that I wasn’t alone. This book answers that and many more unanswered questions for newer widows and those who have walked this road for years. I think that this is a must read for anyone and everyone who has any contact with military widowhood.

J.M. Marine widow

I’ve given this book to many professionals who work with surviving family members.  It’s a ‘must-read’ resource for any professional who provides services to military survivors, and is committed to serving their clients better.  I’ve referred to the ‘Lessons Learned’ in Military Widow: A Survival Guide on countless occasions, confident my clients have greatly benefited from it.

CDR Tom Wood, USN (Ret.)

Reverse Mortgage Consultant

The authors of Military Widow: A Survival Guide have carefully researched and brilliantly laid out the complicating journey that military widows face after the death of their spouse. Used by the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), this loving text offers gentle guidance and lessons learned. Congratulations to Joanne and Regina for a gift of hope and comfort to America’s military widows!

Bonnie Carroll, Chairman of TAPS and Army widow

There is so much good about this book that it is hard to know where to start.

First, I guess, is the fact that this is a book for military widows, written by a military widow. Joanne Steen is the widow of a Navy helicopter pilot whose machine came apart in the air killing everyone on board.

Second, it is published by Naval Institute Press. The US Naval Institute has been around a long time and will remain around. They can (and I hope they will) keep this book available for a long time. ..continue reading

I wish I’d had this book to guide me the first time I came face to face with a grieving military family. Its matter-of-fact advice takes the fear and mystery out of taking care of our own. A must-read for everyone in uniform and everyone who loves them.

Kristin Henderson
Journalist, military chaplain’s wife and author of “While They’re At War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront”

This book is a true blessing for anyone who now has the unwanted title of being a military widow. I became a military widow at the age of 24 and was left to raise our 2 1/2 month old son outside of the military life that we anticipated and were comfortable in. I began reading countless books about grief and widowhood, trying to find that what I felt was normal. However, there wasn’t a book out there that addressed the special circumstances that surround being a military widow. This book addresses those additional issues with straightforward chapters and is full of countless “A-ha! I feel that way too!” moments. Whenever a military widow questions that she can survive, this book will assure her that she can and guide her through her journey.

A job very, very well done

S.D., Army widow

“Asaro and Steen have written a unique and important resource for military widows and those who support them. The 30 chapters focus on the complex contexts that automatically complicate grief when it is a soldier-spouse who died. The authors draw not only from the familiar grief literature, but also from in-depth interviews with military widows, casualty officers, command leaders and others who, like themselves, know the culture of the armed services from the inside. This book offers compassion, insight and information that will contribute greatly to care that is distinct for the many military wives whose husbands die in active duty every year.”

Rev. Paul A. Metzler, D. Min.
Review in The Forum, Association for Death Education and Counseling, Vol. 33, #1, p. 15, Jan. 2007

Military Widow: A Survival Guide is the “bible” or “must have” type of book in this field. This book will help surviving mothers help their children grieve.

Mary McCambridge
Editor, The 1995 National Directory of Bereavement Support Groups and Services, and Founder, The Foundation for Grieving Children

Provides extraordinary insight into a new widow’s vulnerabilities and motivations when dealing with insurance money. Chapter on finances is a must-read.

Gary L. Zaugg, CFP, ChFC, CASL, CDF
President, The Zaugg Financial Group, Inc.

Thank you for your book. I just got off the phone with one of my best friends, a recent military widow, whose husband was killed in the Middle East just over a month ago.

Someone gave her a copy of your book and it has been invaluable to her healing. In the course of our 2 hour conversation she shared with me many of the thoughts and insights. Many times she told me how glad she is to have this book.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I look forward to reading your book myself so that I can be a better support to my friend.

Friend of a military widow, M.B. SHAPE, Belgium

I wish I had this book years ago when my husband was killed in Iraq. It’s great. I got a lot out of it and would recommend it to other military widows. We (military widows) are in a different category than other widows and this book helps you find your way.

M. C., Military widow

We were blessed to have the authors of Military Widow: A Survival Guide, bring their compassionate expertise to personally assist us with a military casualty response. This book describes the wide spectrum of emotions of the military widow and of those around her after the loss of a spouse. It provides poignant experiences of military widows and concrete lessons learned on how best to help them. Joanne and Regina, thank you for the help you gave to us, and now for sharing this knowledge with so many others.

Col. Thomas Turlip, USAFR, Retired, and wife Debbie Turlip

Military Widow: A Survival Guide shows tremendous insight into the challenges a young military widow experiences. I desperately needed this book when my husband, a Navy pilot, was killed in an A-6 crash. Joanne Steen and Regina Asaro give validity to the unspoken thoughts and feelings that many military widows go through. The book gives practical suggestions for dealing with difficult situations and contains great references to survive and manage the months and years after a traumatic loss.

In addition to being an unmatched resource for widows, “Military Widow” is a must-read for her family and friends and a practical tool for the professionals working with her.

D.A., Navy widow

This extremely timely book is directed to women whose beloved husbands were killed in the military. For them it offers specific guidance for specific situations in a very helpful way.

Janice Harris Lord
Author, No Time for Goodbyes: Coping with Sorrow, Anger, and Injustice After a Tragic Death

Military Widow: A Survival Guide is an exceptional resource for an unfortunately growing population of younger widows. It offers great information and insight to both widows and the clinicians and carers that seek to help them.

Kenneth J. Doka, PhD
Editor, OMEGA: Journal of Death and Dying, and Author, Disenfranchised Grief: New Directions, Challenges and Strategies for Practice

I’ve read over a dozen books to help me in my journey through grief, and none are as succinct and clear as Joanne Steen’s ‘Military Widow: A Survival Guide.’

The chapters are short, the coverage is excellent, and the “lessons learned from other military widows stand out. Every word was written with the care of someone who has lived through the pain.

Many of the “lessons learned in this book can help non-military widows and widowers. It helped me. I believe this book can even help non-widows understand the terrible burden of the military widow.

Part one: “Life and Death in the military, bring us into the diverse lives of widows in the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and the Coast Guard. Military widowhood (and the focus is on the widow) is especially difficult. Joanne understands: “Protecting America does have its price, and for me, it was my husband’s life.
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